Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Best Ways to Survive a Breakup

My "best ways to survive a breakup" may not be the same as your "best ways to survive a breakup"! But, the only way to find out what works is to try different things...and that's what these tips are. Different ways to survive different types of loss.

Best Ways to Survive a Breakup 

Remember both the good and the bad parts of the relationship. When you have to let go of someone you love, it’s easy to focus on the great parts of the relationship and his personality. But, don’t forget the flaws! This is one of my favorite breakup tips because remembering both what you loved and what annoyed you will keep you grounded. And, being grounded will help you overcome heartbreak. Be objective and balanced when you think of the person you lost. 

Realize that his leaving isn’t a direct reflection on you. No matter how beautiful, successful, slim, or rich their wives are, some husbands will be unfaithful. Men cheat and leave their marriages for a wide variety of reasons – many of which have nothing to do with their wives. To learn more about cheating husbands, read Why Men Cheat on Their Wives. But more importantly, remember that your husband left you for another woman because of his problems – which aren’t a reflection of you! It’s not that you’re not good enough, or she’s a better woman. One of the best ways to survive a breakup is to keep reminding yourself that your husband left you because he has his own issues.

Clean up your ex's clutter. Do you have his stuff all over your place? Get rid of everything. Seeing his clothes, toiletries, books, or other items just keeps your wounds fresh. Put everything he left behind in a box, and throw or give it away. Clearing out your home, car, and workspace will help clear your mind…which will help you heal from a relationship breakup. To learn more, read How Do I Get Over Him? Relationship Breakup Help. 

Remember the dog-and-vomit analogy. It sounds gross, but hang in with me! I recently read There Is a Season by Patrick Lane, about his journey through addiction and recovery. He said thinking about sad things in the past is like a dog returning to his own vomit. I love this analogy, and use it when I start berating myself for something I regret doing. Instead of raking myself over the coals, I tell myself that I’m not a dog and I refuse to go back to my own vomit…and I then think “Eeewwww…” and I move on! This is a very practical, effective way to overcome obsessive thoughts about an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

What do you think of these best ways to survive a breakup? I welcome your comments below.

For more relationship breakup help, read how to let go of someone you love.
And, one of the most popular books on Amazon is It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy. It'll help you see you're not alone.

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