New Beginnings

5 Best Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day

Figuring out the best way to celebrate Valentine's Day - or the best way to say "I love you" on Valentine's Day - depends on you and your partner, your relationship, and even where you live!

Here are some ideas that will make Valentine's Day fun and romantic...

5 Best Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day

1. Play the Jelly Belly game. A fun, romantic way to spend Valentine’s Day is to play fun games in the bedroom -- or not in the bedroom! For example, you could blindfold him and feed him Jelly Bellys. If he guesses the flavor correctly, he gets a prize (a kiss? a foot massage?). If he guesses wrong, you get a prize (a back massage? a piece of rich dark chocolate?). To make it more interesting, combine jelly bean flavors (eg, rootbeer + ice cream = root beer float, coconut + pineapple = pina colada, chocolate + cherry = chocolate covered cherries, etc.). Or you could play the I've Never - The Game of Truth!

2. A romantic gift bag of messages and toys. For Valentine’s Day last year, I gave my husband a drawstring cloth bag of sensual goodies. My favorite are the love notes: there are 15 or 20 notes that we draw out of the bag with our eyes closed, which contain loving actions that we both enjoy. Our drawstring bag also includes massage oil, a pen and paper for new love ideas, a book, candles, and other assorted goodies. This is one of the best ways to celebrate Valentine's Day because it's inexpensive and romantic!

3. Plan a Valentine’s Day treasure hunt. When was the last time your partner searched for lost gems or a buried treasure chest? A Valentine’s Day treasure hunt can be inside the house, yard, park, neighborhood, city – or even a neighboring town or city. Prepare clues that lead him from one place to another. You can have as many as 15 clues, or as few as three. The last clue could lead to your bedroom, a candlelit bathtub full of bubbles, or a hotel room you’ve booked. Prepare the “treasure chest” with candles, music, roses, and chocolate. 

4. Find cool foods to feed each other. I’m considering buying my husband Baconnaise for Valentine’s Day, even though he’d probably rather get a power tool — but he has every tool known to man! Food can be a fun gift idea, even for men who don’t cook, including pickle popsicles, snake wine, Astronaut ice cream, chocolate covered grasshoppers or ants, curry-flavor buffalo dung beetles, or edible crickets. If your husband loves chocolate, you can find gorgeous gourmet chocolate figurines and specialty items (eg, chessboards, teddy bears, fruit, books, etc). For more ideas, search the internet for online retailers of exotic food products. Perhaps one of the best Valentine's Day gifts for men is to order a case of “homemade” beer or wine from a store that does all the mixing and brewing for you. Mind you, that would do it for me -- and I'm not a guy.

5. The absolute best way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is to learn your and your partner's "love language." And, remember that your partner’s love language may not be natural for you. If you need help expressing love in different ways, remember that those ways may feel awkward and uncomfortable. If you can’t say “I love you”, you need to learn how. The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and gifts. In 80 Ways to Say “I Love You”, I describe how to express love in each of those different ways.

For more Valentine's Day ideas, read Creative Chocolate Valentine's Day Gifts.

Best Ways to Beat the Winter Blues

One of the best ways to beat the winter blues is to figure out why you're sad. Are you always depressed after the Christmas holidays because all the excitement and anticipation is over? Or, is there a physical cause for the winter blues, such as a lack of light or the "feel good" hormone, serotonin?

Pinpointing the cause of your depressed feelings can help you beat the winter blues. And, here are more tips for feeling better fast... 

Best Ways to Beat the Winter Blues

Learn about light therapy. Light therapy for Season Affective Disorder or seasonal depression involves relaxing for an hour with a light box or special light unit. Different types of light therapy treatment include light therapy lamps, special light alarm clocks, and even salt lamps that provide natural ions. Light therapy, light boxes, or even increased exposure to natural sunlight could help reset the biological clock and decrease the winter blues. Light therapy is often an effective treatment for Seasonal Affective Disorder because it allows more light to be absorbed through the skin.

Be kind to others – and gentle with yourself. Ranking high in the studies of what helps people to be optimistic and healthy is helping others. Recently, a customer in the drive-thru line at a Pittsburgh-area Starbucks paid for the coffee of the customer behind her. That customer was so pleased that she then paid for person behind her. The chain continued for two hours! You don’t have to make a grand gesture. To overcome seasonal depression, smile at someone on the street, hold a door open, wave someone into you lane on the freeway.

Learn about herbs that cure depression naturally. In The Brain Wash: A Powerful, All-Natural Program to Protect Your Brain Against Alzheimer's, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Depression, Parkinson's, and Other Diseases, Michelle Schoffro Cook describes two natural depression medications: St John’s wort and ginkgo biloba. “St John’s wort is particularly effective for depression, particularly for mild to moderate symptoms without the side effects often associated with drugs,” writes Cook. St John’s wort may not be as effective for severe depression, but if you’re not taking any antidepressants, it may be worth a try. “Ginkgo biloba improves neurotransmitter production in the brain and helps bring oxygen-rich blood to the brain to improve functioning,” says Cook. This natural herb may also help fight feelings of despair.

Connect in real ways with other people. I’m not talking about making small talk at parties or with strangers. One of the best ways to beat the winter blues is to make connections that renew your spirit and soul. This means different things to different people – but you could interact with people less fortunate than you, perhaps by volunteering at a shelter or hospital. Connect spiritually at your church or temple. Connect with nature by taking a walk through a park or along the coast. Look into your dog or cat’s eyes, and connect with on a soul level.

What do you think of these ways to beat the winter blues? Comments -- and more tips -- welcome below.

Best Ways to Save Money in 2011

What are the best ways to save money in 2011? It depends on your lifestyle and personality (eg, How much debt do you have? What's your money personality?). But these unusual ways to save money work for most people most of the time.

They're more psychological than the "same old same old" money saving tips...

Best Ways to Save Money in 2011

Relate your financial goals to your overall life purpose. What do you want to do with your life — where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years? Your thoughts become things, so stay focused on what you want to achieve in your life. Relate your life goals to specific money goals. Say, for instance, your life goal is to live in a home with a view of the ocean. Cut a picture of your dream home out of a magazine, or sketch it yourself. Paste it your fridge, bathroom mirror, office wall. That vision will help you stay motivated to save money this year.

Get rid of household and office clutter. When your home is cluttered, you often spend money to replace things you can’t find. You keep buying “organizers" such as containers and shelving units -- and you may even hire a professional organizer. Sometimes you buy things you don’t need to declutter your home — and they just cause more clutter and more debt! So, one of the best ways to save money in 2011 is to declutter. The less clutter you have, the better able you can see and find the things you need. Food will be less likely to go bad in the fridge. Warranties and guarantees and receipts will be at your fingertips. You won't have to spend money replacing stuff you have, but can’t find. Decluttering can even increase your motivation to set and achieve financial goals.

Activate two money saving tips a month. We see the best ways to save money everywhere – the internet, budget books, our rich old aunts, on placemats at funky restaurants. But do we actually apply them to our lives? Nope. It’s too much. So we need to be strategic about saving money in 2011. Pick one or two money saving tips. Focus on making those two tips a habit for a month or six weeks. Then, find one two more money saving tips to work on. This way, you’re not overwhelmed with a million ways to save money.

Make two days a week “No Spend” days. “Unspend,” advise the financial gurus at DailyWorth. “No Spend Days are powerful budget-balancing tools. By simply not spending money one day a week, you give yourself more wiggle room in other areas.” I think one day a week is too easy – I challenge you to make two days a week your “No Spend” days! No DVD rentals, no 7-11 slurpees (my personal weakness), and no restaurant meals.

These are just a few tips for saving money. For the whole enchilada, go to Quips and Tips for Money and Love.

Also -- my husband and I have discovered a pot of gold in The 4-Hour Workweek, Expanded and Updated. It's not about saving money per se -- it's about living the life the way you want it, no matter how much money you have.

Any questions or comments on these "best ways to save money in 2011"? I welcome you below...

Best Ways to Write a Book

Ask 10 different writers, and you'll get 10 different "best ways to write a book." Here are a few top tips for writing a book - which I suspect most writers will agree on.

If you're looking for different types of book tips, let me know below. I'd be happy to help!

Best Ways to Write a Book

Create a need to write your book. JK Rowling had to write to pay the bills. She was a single mom, desperate for income but unable to afford childcare. She was literally too hungry to be lazy — and she certainly didn’t need to increase her motivation to write! She needed to pay her bills and feed her kids. If you don’t have a need to write, create one. Do you need Starbucks frappucinos? Write 750 words first, then reward yourself with a coffee. For more tips from this bestselling author of the Harry Potter series, read Writing Quips and Tips From JK Rowling.

Write what you know. "Anything else will feel forced.I write children’s picture books, about shoes, dresses and trucks, time-outs, princesses and pirates," says Sue Fliess, author of Shoes for Me! "I have two young boys (5 and 7 years old)...and my world right now is my kids. I get at least one new idea for a story each week from them. And this year, my older son really became a proficient reader, so I find myself writing longer stories that might suit him. When I tackle a middle grade or young adult, I must tap into my 12 year old or 15 year old self and draw on my own memories. When I start writing from a place that is true to myself, my writing is better. I’m not winging it, and it does not feel forced, it feels real. Hopefully it will be real to the reader."

Learn why book manuscripts aren't published. If you're serious about not just finding the best ways to write a book but actually getting published, you need to learn why most books don't get published. In 17 Reasons Book Mansucripts Aren't Published, a panel of editors and publishers share their reasons for rejecting book manuscripts. Good reading for aspiring writers!

Remember that writing a book is hard work. Even if you have the best idea in the world, it doesn’t mean you can write a good book. Whether you’re writing fiction or non-fiction, you must learn about the aspect of the genre that may make your book a bestseller. You must know how to create an attention-getting introduction, end chapters with an intriguing hook, and write a page turner. You need to create interesting, believable characters and realistic settings, and build an excellent plot that leads to a gripping climax.

Fire up your determination. Determination is the will to continue writing, seeking an agent’s representation, meeting with your writer’s group, accepting rejections, and overcoming whatever stumbling blocks and difficulties you encounter along the way. If you’re determined to write your book despite what people say, what your internal critic says, and whatever doubts and fears you have, you quadruple your chances of success. Determination includes continually reading about writing and improving your writing skills.

If you lack motivation, you might find 73 Ways to Fire Up (or Just Fire!) the Muse helpful.

If you have any questions or thoughts about these best ways to write a book, please comment below...

Best Ways to Be Happy

Okay, I admit that the best ways to be happy for me aren't necessarily the best ways to be happy for you...but there may be a few tips that work for both of us!

If these happiness tips don't appeal to you, tell me what does in the comments section below...

Best Ways to Be Happy

Connect in real ways with other people. I’m not talking about making small talk at parties or with strangers. One of the best ways to be happy is to make connections that renew your spirit and soul. This means different things to different people – but you could interact with people less fortunate than you, perhaps by volunteering at a shelter or hospital. Connect spiritually at your church or temple. Connect with nature by taking a walk through a park or along the coast. Look into your dog or cat’s eyes, and connect on a soul level.

Be kind to others – and gentle with yourself. Ranking high in the studies of what helps people to be optimistic and happy is helping others. Recently, a customer in the drive-thru line at a Pittsburgh-area Starbucks paid for the coffee of the customer behind her. That customer was so pleased that she then paid for person behind her. The chain continued for two hours! You don’t have to make a grand gesture. To be happy, smile at someone on the street, hold a door open, wave someone into you lane on the freeway.

Accept yourself without judgment. Your mind is split between your ego and your spirit. The ego judges you, keeping you stuck. Your spirit or higher self, accepts you as you are. The more you can view yourself from your higher self, the less you are your ego. This way to be happy involves imagining that you are looking over your own shoulder, and watching without judgment. If part of you is watching ourselves without judgment, then there must be a part of yourself that isn’t negative. The more we can be the spirit that simply accepts, the less we become our ego.

Find direction in your life (aka your bliss). What makes you happy? What are you doing when you lose track of time? Who do you love spending time with? What did you want to be when you grew up? “Direction provides focus and inspiration and is the antidote to day-to-day monotony,” writes Robert Pagliarini in The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth & Purpose. “In the real world, you achieve direction by creating compelling goals.” He says setting and achieving life goals provides feedback, which can fuel your motivation and inspiration.

To learn more about being happy, read How to Be Lucky - 10 Ways to Get Luckier in Life and Love.

What do you think of these "best" ways to be happy? Comments welcome below...

Best Ways to Make Small Talk

I was at a party last night, and used two of these four best ways to make small talk! They work -- but the trick is remembering them when you need them...maybe my next post should be the "best ways to remember the best ways to make small talk"...

Best Ways to Make Small Talk

Parrot the key phrases. Repeating certain words is a sure-fire way to keep conversations going. For instance, if your date says something like, “The last time I saw a live concert was in the 90’s, when I won tickets to Elton John.” This is the perfect time for you to say “Elton John?” or “concerts in the 90’s” or “live concerts.” More often than not, your date will keep talking about that topic. Try it — it works!

 

Pay attention to what he or she says. When you're making small talk, follow up on specific sentences. For instance, if she says she's "excellent" when you ask how she's doing, ask why – and ask where you can get some of that! If she says she's exhausted, follow up on it. When you're making small talk, remember that great conversations and good connections are yours if you show genuine interest.

Ask open-ended questions that require an explanation. For instance, “How are you?” isn’t an effective way to make small talk. It's better if you ask “Whatever happened with ‘__________’ “? or “The last time we spoke you said ________. What happened with that?” This tip is from 10 First Date Conversation Starters -- which isn't just about making small talk on dates!

Talk about the elephant in the corner. If you notice that there seems to be nothing to talk about, then your date is probably noticing the same thing. Talk about that! I use this as a conversation starter regularly: “Isn’t it awkward when you feel like you have nothing to say?” Then you’ll start talking about that – and you’ll both be more relaxed. Try it – it's one of the best ways to make small talk.

For more small talk tips, read Small Talk: The Art of Socialising.

What do you think of these ways to make small talk? I welcome your commentes below...